Bingo! What you say here describes my situation to a tee. (tea?) My husband is also smothering and "helpful" and it's crazy-making. I know he's trying so hard to do well and be well--he denies having Alzheimer's, though it's been diagnosed and is very obvious--and I feel so bad for him, but no matter how patient a person is, eventually patience wears thin. I think "overwhelmed" is the default position for folks in our situation. Hang in there. What else can we do?