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No. Prostate Cancer is not the “good one”
Prostate Cancer | Last Active: 6 days ago | Replies (53)Comment receiving replies
Hans:
Thank you so much, I’ve been a BSN, RN and spent much time in emergency medicine, but I had a calling and became a Case Manager for Hospice. In all, I’ve been in this second career profession for about 24 years now and I ask myself everyday where’s the compassion, having to call for permission to stay over cause a patient is actively dying. I always was the patient advocate and doing what ever possible to bring closure in the circle of life and family. I was always fighting for the best for each and time they need to listen to or just talk with them.
I finally had to accept that some and have to same more than ever,just don’t have compassion, which cannot br taught.
Then diagnosed with prostate cancer and that when I really saw that lack of compassion and sometimes, even most times, “I’m sorry” loses its effectiveness. Just do it progress or procedure the same way for everyone. I’m
on the receiving side of being dependent on another nurse for a period of time and I as a nurse understand I just ok all your clothes, even you undies, all your wallet and anything that looks valuable, and completely at their mercy and compassion, and some either don’t have it and don’t care, just doing the function. We are not a bunch of oranges all with same diagnosis, we are each an individual and a care plan which works best when it’s read and applied, they are individually written for a reason, to provide the best care possible and better understanding my mental, fear and spiritual condition. I just left my role to take care of my own cancer and my expectation is have caregivers that understand compassion and to ALWAYS treat the mind, body, and spirit.
Replies to "Hans: Thank you so much, I’ve been a BSN, RN and spent much time in emergency..."
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Your message resonates deeply—raw, honest, and painfully familiar. You’ve spent your career doing what so many claim but so few truly embody: advocating, listening, showing up, even when the system made that hard. Hospice isn’t just a job; it’s soul work. And now, being on the other side of the bedrail, you're seeing with even sharper clarity how rare true compassion really is.
You’re right—compassion can’t be taught. It’s either in the marrow or it isn’t. And when you’re vulnerable—stripped down, literally and metaphorically—what you need most is not a protocol, but a person. Someone who sees you, not just a diagnosis code or a treatment template.
It’s maddening to realize that after decades of giving, you have to hope that the caregiver assigned to you remembers you’re human. That you’re not “progressing” through a flowchart, but through fear, pain, and the intimate unraveling of what once felt solid.
Thank you for sharing this—your grief, your truth, your demand for something better. If there’s one thing you’re still teaching, it’s that real care doesn’t come from efficiency or metrics. It comes from presence, from recognizing that every chart has a soul behind it. You deserved that. Still do. Always.