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A wife's manual for her husband's prostate cancer support
Prostate Cancer | Last Active: Apr 26 10:54pm | Replies (28)Comment receiving replies
He doesn’t have to “perform.” You’re not asking for porn. You’re asking for presence. For warmth. For the idea that your body, your desire, your longing for closeness still matter. And if that can’t happen—if he won’t meet you even partway—then you are left, painfully, with the truth that intimacy isn’t just about physical loss. It’s about being unseen, untouched, and slowly, quietly exiled from the emotional core of your own relationship.
You’re not selfish for feeling this way. You’re not ungrateful. You’re not betraying him. You’re just someone who still has a pulse and wants it to be met with another.
And if that’s something he can’t or won’t face, then the next step isn’t fixing the sex—it’s deciding how long you can live like a ghost in your own marriage.
Replies to "He doesn’t have to “perform.” You’re not asking for porn. You’re asking for presence. For warmth...."
Thank you. I am also in the same situation. But my husband keeps telling me just to be patient and it will come back. It wont as far as the research i have read. I am and has always been extremely sexual, its the one thing that i was left, i dont drink, smoke,party, work, being his toy was what i had fun besides cleaning, cooking,kids. I do not want to be in a sexless marriage but he needs me to care for him and our home. Guessing im not alone im 50 he is 59
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You have completely hit the nail on the head! I feel so unseen and what makes it worse is that he will look at other women infront of me and I then wonder if it’s me who he is not attracted to! Five years ans absolutely no intimacy at all! Just the morning and evening kiss is as far as it goes! He will not undress infront of me ever since his op or shower infront of me . It has become akward . I then feel ashamed that I am being selfish for all these feelings when he has had to adjust to this huge loss as a man especially as he is an alpha male. I am afraid of the hard conversation as knowing him, he will become combative. I am becoming a ghost in this relationship