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A wife's manual for her husband's prostate cancer support
Prostate Cancer | Last Active: Aug 10 2:36pm | Replies (48)Comment receiving replies
Thank you so much for this insight!
If I can share my experience : my partner had a radical prostectomony via the the Da Vinci in 2019. The prostate was removed and his PSA readings are negligible which is great.
I am 50 and he is 57 and he is very old school. We have not had sex since 2020. He told me he is completely dead in that area even though he takes Taladafil and other drugs to keep blood flow intact . He will not try any injections or pumps etc so that side of our relationship is gone and I feel ashamed writing this but it is affecting me as we don’t talk about it it all. It is a closed subject which he basically has told me this is the way it is
Is there any advice out there please
Regards
Replies to "Thank you so much for this insight! If I can share my experience : my partner..."
Hi,
I’m in a similar position, I really wish that I had some advice for you but I am still relatively new to this. I’m 42 and quite sad that this side of my life seems to be over.
The article was right in so many ways. I feel invisible and like I have no function but to support from the sidelines and that it’s wrong for me to say I want to anything more demanding than a dinner suggestion.
My husband told me I looked nice a while ago and that was the first time in a year he had said that and I could have cried. I know it’s hard for them but it’s hard for us too.
I just wanted you to know that you aren’t alone and however you are feeling it’s ok.
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He doesn’t have to “perform.” You’re not asking for porn. You’re asking for presence. For warmth. For the idea that your body, your desire, your longing for closeness still matter. And if that can’t happen—if he won’t meet you even partway—then you are left, painfully, with the truth that intimacy isn’t just about physical loss. It’s about being unseen, untouched, and slowly, quietly exiled from the emotional core of your own relationship.
You’re not selfish for feeling this way. You’re not ungrateful. You’re not betraying him. You’re just someone who still has a pulse and wants it to be met with another.
And if that’s something he can’t or won’t face, then the next step isn’t fixing the sex—it’s deciding how long you can live like a ghost in your own marriage.