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Did you tell your parent(s) about your diagnosis?
My surgery is scheduled and I am prepared. I have not told my mother that's in her mid 90s that I have Prostate Cancer or that I'm having surgery. My mother is a worry wart and gets obsessed easily over things that she has no control over. She's also hyper observant about my physical health in general. Have you lost/gained weight are you getting enough fiber/calcium/vitamin A-Z. I don't want to tell her that I have Prostate Cancer because she will obsess. I also don't want her at the hospital after surgery because she will want/need to look at the surgery results. I don't want my mother looking at the "franks and beans" So here's my questions. For those of us that have elderly parents, did you tell them? I want to establish boundaries with my mother but I also don't want her to make me into "Norman Bates"/ Mama's boy.
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They may, but they've involved me in a lot of difficult stuff in their lives already, so I'm very hopeful that they keep trusting me.
I'm sure they trust you. You're always there for them, right? You'd do anything for them.
This is not about trust, but it is very much about love.
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1 ReactionI don't see it in our case, unless perhaps I were very, very sick. I understand different families work differently, but I didn't hesitate to tell my mother about my stage-4 diagnosis (within an hour), and I think my kids would do the same if (deity forbid) they were ever in the same situation.
We've always had good and frank communication, in both directions, and have worked hard to build and maintain that trust.
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1 ReactionDoes your mother live in the same town? If not, I might not tell her based on the personality traits you mentioned. Omission vs commission. I think I would rather beg forgiveness in this case when/if she finds out down the road. Radiation and RP are short term events, and no one knows unless you tell them. Heck we even look normal but somewhat tired while going through these medical procedures and can definitely fake it for a short visit. In the end it is what you feel comfortable living with. I hope for a complete eradication, good health and the pleasure of spending quality time with your mother in the evening of her life. Both of mine passed by the age of 65.
I'm impressed but not really surprised that all the comments indicate you all are simply 'doing the right thing' after your careful consideration.
Both each person and each family is unique unto themselves and that's what counts.
Keep up the good work and loving family connections whatever they may be and whatever comes along.
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