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Stubborness & Resistance to Help

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (23)

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@pamela78

I understand your anger. I feel it too, and I have a friend whose husband is very difficult and hard to manage. She, too, has lots of health issues and is over 80. I'll soon be 80 and have an ascending aortic aneurysm, so, yeah, lots of anxiety. I wouldn't get so angry if my husband were the least bit compliant but, no, there's nothing wrong with him. He blames the doctors for his diagnosis and doesn't understand that he won't always be able to do the things he does now. Yes, I get angry. I want to take care of him and make his life as comfortable and pleasant as possible but it's like trying to hang wallpaper with one hand tied behind my back. No one who hasn't been in this situation really understands the immensity of it. It's not just a visit for a couple of hours or a weekend but constant tribulation 24/7 and, yes, it's only going to get worse. I want to scream at the universe. I'm glad you have your faith. I don't. No one is listening and no one can help. We're on our own here. It's hard to have a partner who isn't a partner anymore and who wants everything to be the same as it always was. This too shall pass?

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Replies to "I understand your anger. I feel it too, and I have a friend whose husband is..."

I appreciate your response more than you know. I, too, feel everything you describe. I wish I could be like all those smiling women/men in pictures embracing their spouses with Altzheimers. Truth be known, I’d rather take a sledgehammer to him!
I have no clue how all this will end, but it’s definitely not going to end well for him and possibly for me either (by default). Yes, I do have my faith which stresses living by faith and not by sight. I freely admit it’s not an easy thing to do, but sometimes it’s all I have so I cling to it.
Drop me a line sometime so at least we can commiserate (ok…bitch) together.
This may not mean much to you but I’ll pray comfort and blessings for you at the same time I pray the same for me.
Please take care.