I know this post is from quite some time ago. What was the outcome? My father has stage 4 adenocarcinoma of the bladder which has now metastasized to the lungs, bone, and possibly prostate. He has a PET scan in a week to check for more. The area was removed from the bladder but ultimately he kept his bladder and had radiation and chemo which apparently did not work. Now we are taking short course of radiation to the other areas and immunotherapy to prevent further metastasis but prognosis doesn’t sound great, they are saying anywhere from 9 months- 2 years. Note also he’s an 80 year old man with a defibrillator implanted due to a heart attack he had nearly 30 years ago now. I got the impression your husband is a good bit younger or at least was at the time of your post. I don’t know if you’ll see this or what ended up happening but your story and desperation really grabbed my attention. I hope whatever the outcome, his suffering ended. Take care