Did you tell your parent(s) about your diagnosis?

When I first learned I had what was likely metastatic cancer (we didn't know the primary yet), I called my mother that night from my hospital bed and told her. She was with a friend in a hotel, about to set out on a river cruise the next day. I asked her not to cancel the cruise, but instead, to share pictures so that I could enjoy looking at them. It wasn't easy for her, but she did it. I have no regrets about involving her early.

I lied to my mother for 5 years. She died recently without ever finding out her youngest son has cancer.

Thanks for sharing this. May I ask were your reasons similar to mine?

jayhall, I'm out of my league here, but:
when I had cancer ten years ago, I didn't tell anyone. I pretended to go on a month long vacation. I saved everyone the stress, including myself. Once you tell there is a constant. Everyone who knows you has to have the conversation of concern every time you see them, every time you talk to them. Years later you'll still be fielding questions. When you've managed to stop worrying and thinking about cancer there it will be on everyone's lips.
If you decide not to tell her, don't ever tell her. Don't confide in people that might slip her the information, because she will be hurt.
I don't think you get to establish good boundaries with your mom once you tell.

I gave it thought but decided to tell my father. He was pretty upset and wanted to come be here to help and I told him "too many cooks" because, honestly, he would drive me insane and I don't like being waited on like that. He still gets a bit emotional when I talk to him about my future and what that may mean.

The only thing I may keep to myself is if I'm ever told I'm terminal. I'm a little on the fence about that because if that were to happen I would want to spend some time making that easier on my wife by getting rid of all the things she wouldn't want or need after I go. That's not something for me to worry about today, so I'm not.

Thanks for that. I haven't told anyone at work to avoid exactly what you are talking about. I've told them I need surgery and sick time but nothing more. You have helped me make the decision to Never tell her. Thank you!

Thank you for that. 🙂 see my previous comment. I'm never going to tell her!

As far as work goes, they all seemed to forget that I have stage 4 cancer after a while. I didn't look sick, and honestly, they had other things on their mind. It's not really there in interactions with my family either, except if I tell them a test result or make a joke about it. They see me up and about and living a normal life, and that's good enough for them.

That is great to hear that you had no problem at work . What a relief !
My husband made a mistake of telling about his heart event 20 year ago to his boss and coworkers - he got "package" during the first reorganization even thou he had amazing performance evaluations and was in high position. His friend who was diagnosed with cancer had the same thing happen in different company. Lessons hard learned 🙁 I always laugh at the inscription on Statue of Liberty XP

My husband never told his parents about any hardships we experienced here , financial or health related and they lived and went from this world in complete bliss. I also avoid telling my mom things that wold upset her but again, they all lived so far away, it would be perhaps difficult to hide things from them if they lived in the same city, almost impossible.