1. < Just Want to Talk

What would you do?

Posted by robertwills @robertwills, Apr 7 1:42pm

You are invited to a dinner and you are told your nephews girlfriend will be there who you have heard a lot about but have never met. You go to the dinner and you walk in and this person, your nephew's girlfriends, looks at you and says "Gold digger" (as in you're a gold digger) No one heard this but you. You are not a gold digger at all; you have been single for years and used to be married to a computer salesman. Maybe you look like one to her? What would you do? Would you say something to the girlfriend? Would you leave? Tell your nephew what happened? What would you do?

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seniormed | @seniormed | 3 days ago

I think this is a good topic for Dear Abby.!

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1 reply
robertwills | @robertwills | 3 days ago
In reply to @SusanEllen66 "@robertwills my sister goes to JB all the time. A picture is attached. They won’t post..." + (show)
@SusanEllen66

@robertwills my sister goes to JB all the time. A picture is attached. They won’t post picture with faces.

My dad went every day rain, sleet or snow. When he died, we had his ashes in a pink salt urn. My nephews helped sister go out on a boat to throw him in the ocean across from the area he loved.

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The photo downloaded in this post. It's a very nice place to be. I visited on the suggestion of someone I know who lives in the NYC area. They have good taste. Like I indicated, the day I was there the waves were fantastic! They were the kind that will knock you over, and you don't know which end is up, if you're not dealing with them properly. The water was warm, too.

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robertwills | @robertwills | 3 days ago
In reply to @seniormed "I think this is a good topic for Dear Abby.!" + (show)
@seniormed

I think this is a good topic for Dear Abby.!

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It also is topic for mental health as social dynamics, particularly family, can affect you, good or bad.

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eileen11108 | @eileen11108 | 2 days ago

I would ignore her. She does not seem stable. You want to keep a good relationship with your nephew.
Eileen

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itchyd | @itchyd | 2 days ago
In reply to @thisismarilynb "I think I would slap her face. That is so rude." + (show)
@thisismarilynb

I think I would slap her face. That is so rude.

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Temper, temper!

I don't think physical violence is appropriate, at least not at that point. Just give her the stinkeye.

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itchyd | @itchyd | 2 days ago
In reply to @triciaot "Couple things come to mind. One is what’s called Maslow’s hammer, it says "If all you..." + (show)
@triciaot

Couple things come to mind. One is what’s called Maslow’s hammer, it says "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” So maybe I’d feel sorry for her if that is all she’s got in her skill set.

The other is from a book I’m reading by Mel Robbins, the Let Them Theory. She suggests when someone does something like that you just “let them”. Actually brings you back in control because you’ve chosen to just let them say what they want. People will say all kinds of things, sometimes hurtful sometimes crazy. Let them.

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Thanx for bringing up Maslow's hammer.

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itchyd | @itchyd | 2 days ago
In reply to @lkas "I have a very different response about this. When everyone is seated for dinner, I would..." + (show)
@lkas

I have a very different response about this.
When everyone is seated for dinner, I would bring up a situation that ‘happened’ recently. I’d say that “I was out for dinner w/friends and one friend brought along another person, someone none of the rest of us knew. Anyway, one of the women (we’ll call her Jane) excused herself to use the restroom, and while she was gone the new person called her a gold-digger. The rest of us were shocked, and we admonished her for the negative comment, and we wondered how she could form such a negative opinion of Jane having only barely known her.” Then look at your nephew’s friend and politely and innocently ask “What do you think would cause someone to say that?!?”
I am certain she would get your message…
Then you can put it to rest.

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Clever and Wicked!

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1 reply
LKas | @lkas | 2 days ago
In reply to @itchyd "Clever and Wicked!" + (show)
@itchyd

Clever and Wicked!

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I learned clever and wicked from someone close to me who is quite passive/aggressive!
It is not useful to behave that way as part of one’s character but in a case like this one it can be useful

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robertwills | @robertwills | 2 days ago

Today I thought maybe the best thing to do is if the girlfriend comes for a holiday dinner when everyone is seated the aunt should say to the girlfriend "Do you remember the very first thing you said out loud to me when I first met you?" But then I thought "Why bother with it?". Forget it. Live and enjoy YOUR life. "

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