Hi, @sharlynn62. I've been treated for depression for around 13 years, though I know now that it was a problem to some degree since I was a child. I'm 66 now, and have been retired for 11 years, on Social Security Disability for mental health issues, including multiple suicide attempts. Around 5 years ago, I found out that I have peripheral neuropathy, usually connected with diabetes, but not in my case. The cause of the nerve damage can't really be determined, but by now, I have constant pain, along with numbness and pins and needles. It's a burning pain in my toes and the balls of my feet and the top part by my toes. The combination of depression and chronic pain is a really tough one. I'm glad you don't consider suicide to be an option. Rationally, I have the same feeling about as you. I wish I could say that the thoughts are never a problem, but I think about it nearly every day. Cognitive therapy has given me tools to deal with the thoughts, but they're still there. For pain, I take morphine sulfate contin, Cymbalta and Oxycodone for breakthrough pain. I put Lidocaine cream on my feet at bedtime, to numb them so I can get to sleep, and at other times when the pain is bad. I recently got some Marijuana from the local dispensary, and made cannabutter, and if I use enough, it does reduce the pain for a couple of hours. The pain specialist told me to get low THC and high CBD. I may apply for a green card, so I can get the stronger medical Marijuana. That process is expensive, so I've put off doing it. I also take Bupropion for depression, and Klonopin to keep me from kicking during the night and injuring my wife. The Klonopin also helps when I'm in a stressful situation that might start a panic attack. Sometimes I take Orphenadrine, a muscle relaxer, when my back is hurting (I fell 12 ft. when my ladder started sliding off to the side, and had 3 compression fractures in my lower back.) Several things have helped me, some of which might resonate with you. I have a psychiatric service dog, who's always with me; I've seen therapists for many years until 2 years ago, when the LCSW left our little town for a better paying job with a VA hospital; my wife is very supportive, though not always understanding; I'm a retired minister, and my faith in God is an important part of my life; we live in the country, on ten acres, where it's peaceful and quiet; I play the piano for the Sunday evening service at our church; and I'm a Hospice volunteer, and visit patients weekly for an hour or so. Time for bed now, so that's a good reason to quit rambling on. I hope you'll find things that will help you with your own pain and depression.

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