Thanks for that Phil. I, too, have almost veered down the road of self pity, but upon further reflection, did a quick U turn and choose the road-if not blessed-at least fortunate. I had 68 years of good health and a great sex life; far more than some are given. And it's not over. Although I "suffer" from stress incontinence and climaturia (wife is not a fan), I have regained nocturnal erections to some degree and then there is the reliable Trimix.

My G9 cancer seems to be in a state of remission but I realize my next PSA check could change all of that. I have bounced around the 5 phases of grief and have come to at least a measure of acceptance. I occasionally backtrack and get a little angry now and again but mostly I have come to terms with it.

Your narrative of "others have it worse" somehow offers a little solace, although I take no joy in other's misery. I guess it's just a reminder that there are worse circumstances in life. I was talking to my life long friend and financial advisor last week and he delivered the news that his brother, in his early 60s, dropped dead of a heart attack. Then the next day I called one of the ERs to speak with one of the ER physicians about an issue and asked for either Dr. X or Y. "I'm sorry, didn't you hear? Dr. X died of a heart attack last Friday." Younger than me; both of them. So, the grim reaper comes for us all.

You mentioned the word "blessed". I, too used to bristle when I heard people use it and it wasn't a part of my vocabulary until the last few years. Being scientifically inclined, logical and rational (I hope!) in my thinking, the word blessed had vague connotations of mysticism for me. I guess you could have labelled me an agnostic; I just didn't give much thought to God. I was too busy living life, making money and raising a family.

Back about 10 years ago I began amateur study of Cosmology. I got the itch to understand how it all happened and we how we got here. Read a lot of books and looked at videos/lectures by leading astronomers. I won't go into details because this post is already longer than I intended, but the calculated odds of chance resulting in this Universe have been calculated to be so astronomical as to be virtually impossible. "Fine tuning" they call it. To get get around that little issue without invoking God, some cosmologists have invoked the Marvel infinite multiverse theory, of which there is zero scientific evidence. To quote the British astronomer Fred Hoyle "A common sense interpretation of facts suggest a super intellect has monkeyed with physics, as well as chemistry and biology, and there are no blind forces worth speaking about in nature". BTW, Fred Hoyle was an atheist earlier in his life. He didn't embrace the Christian view of God but I'll let his quote stand on its own.

This scientific journey lead me to a faith in God. That faith in God has given me a measure of serenity and peace, and for that I am grateful-some would say blessed.