My depression came after knee surgery and Percocet prescribed for me after surgery. Oxycodone, the opioid in Percocet is NOT a pain killer it IS A MIND ALTERING drug. After several months on Percocet I went to my surgeon and explained my dependence and asked for a descending dose. He refused. I then went to a clinic to seek help for detoxing, ( I could not function at my job or in bright light without oxycodone in my body). The clinic would not help because their rules would not allow them to intake me because I was over 65 years old. I tried private care but they demanded a 9 month commitment. I explained that I was not getting high, partying or having fun. I had lost 40lbs. and could not function without oxycodone in my system. I needed detox. After 10.5 months I quite New Years Eve of 2022/2023. I am a veteran and hallucinated being at war for 3 days and all I did was to hallucinate and actively protect myself from an overwhelming enemy force that wasn't really there. I was found laying on the floor, guns all empty all around me, and almost dead. I was then taken to a hospital for stabilization for 3 days and then to a clinic for detox for 12 more days. A doctor at the clinic explained to me that I could not just quite abruptly like I did because I could have had a "psychotic break". Ya think? I told her she should have seen it from my side. Anyway, THE GOOD NEWS. First the BAD NEWS. After being detoxed I went into a very serious almost suicidal depression. I didn't want to live anymore at least not this way. I went for help and found a very good TRAUMA therapist. he explained that I might need some adjunct therapies such as EMDR or KETAMINE. Along with a very good Dr.'s care and my therapist I went for IV ketamine treatments. It was 2x per week for 3 weeks. The first time I was given the minimum dose for my weight, etc. Under the watchful eye of the Dr. she saw I was not tolerating it well and I was immediately pulled off treatment. However, experience had showed her to reduce dosage, even the minimum amount to 1/2 and that dosage worked well. On the 5th treatment I could feel my life returning to a more normal life. About 70%. I was no longer wanting to just die. I have had 2 singular treatments since but I feel that ketamine is not what I need at this time. I bought a book titled, "The Body Keeps the Score". It has taught me a lot about myself, my mind, my neurotransmitters and what happened. I continue to get better and better with the sometimes help of an SSRI (but for short term only) or other anti-depressants, but I find that working within myself and along with others who have suffered the same depression, along with therapy, diet and being committed to being the best I can be I am recovering better and better. I hope this helps you and others that struggle with being "broken" inside. Hang in there, you are worth it.