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A wife's manual for her husband's prostate cancer support
Prostate Cancer | Last Active: 4 days ago | Replies (57)Comment receiving replies
I second that Gently !!! AND I do not agree with about anything said above, however nicely written and with great style.
For long time I wanted to make a post titled : "You are NOT a lesser man" and explain to all male members here that no part of your "equipment " down there makes you a REAL man. Even more so - it is easy to be "a man" when all is just well and dandy, lets see how manly one is when faced with cancer ! Why is a scar on a face considered manly ( even sexy), and scar on your belly is not ? Why do you think that there is one and only way to make love to a woman ? Do you actually know what true intimacy is ? Do you understand that if you are truly loved nothing else matters. That we are HAPPY to be there for you, no matter what ? Do you think that we are not aware of our own aging and body failing in many aspects over the years and that we can not relate to mood swings and vulnerability ?
Every chronic diseases and every other cancer can and DOES cause change in lifestyle and in some personality traits also and yes, in libido too. It happens to both genders BTW.
Also, why is treatment of cancer here often measured by erection success, testicle size and some minor incontinence and not by longevity gained and length of remissions or by years enjoyed and spent with loved ones ?
This disease is no different than any other serious disease period ! And it does NOT MAKE YOU a lesser man in any shape or form and especially not for us who love you dearly < 3 !!!
Replies to "I second that Gently !!! AND I do not agree with about anything said above, however..."
Thank you for expressing what I wanted my response to be. Love your take and your partner is most fortunate! Blessings
What happened to the marriage vows For better or for WORSE . What if it was your wife with breast cancer and the roles were changed True love is unselfish and never fails
@surftohealth88 Absolutely love your post I am dating a guy for 6 months he was diagnosed 4years ago with prostate cancer and has been in active surveillance since about a month ago his PSA was raised they did an MRI and Pet scan and Everything looked good they wanted him to go for a biopsy just to make sure nothing has changed we are now waiting for the results I love him very much and I am constantly reassuring him that I am going to be right by his side and I will go through this with him he is not alone in this I am whole heartedly willing to do anything for him and whatever it takes I keep trying to reassure that the loss of being able to have sex is not going to change how I feel about him or our relationship that as long as we have trust communication and a closeness I’m good (I should tell you I am 71 years young and he is 65 ) I tried constantly to make him understand that sex doesn’t make the man you could be able to have all the sex anytime and be a real jerk otherwise I tell him I just want his love and for him to talk to me when things get to him and when he needs to be quiet I will do that with him too I’m just worried that he is going to walk away from me cause he feels I shouldn’t be going through this.. Any input you can give me on this I would greatly appreciate.. Sorry for going on so long.. Thank-you
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You Are Not Your Penis. Sorry If That’s a Shock.
I had wanted to post something bluntly titled "You Are NOT a Lesser Man." But it turns out that would require a widespread redefinition of what it means to be a man — one that doesn't involve obsessing over the girth, stiffness, or factory condition of your reproductive hardware.
Let’s face it: If the average man spent half as much time tending to his emotional intelligence as he does mourning the decline of his erection, we might already have cured half the world’s problems.
Yes, cancer changes things — body, libido, mood, functionality. Join the club. Women have been silently adjusting to hormonal avalanches, surgical mutilations, and social invisibility for centuries. We don’t measure our worth in millimetres or pump pressure. We just get on with it.
Why is a scar on your face "rugged" but a scar from life-saving surgery "emasculating"? Why is the success of prostate cancer treatment discussed in terms of who can still pitch a tent, rather than who got to attend their daughter’s graduation?
Let’s say it clearly: If your manhood is that fragile — dangling by the thread of a functional erection — then cancer didn’t take your masculinity. It just revealed how hollow it was to begin with.
Intimacy, by the way, has nothing to do with penetration and everything to do with presence. But if that sentence made you uncomfortable, congratulations — you’ve just met your real growth opportunity.
This disease, like any serious one, forces adaptation. It separates the self-absorbed from the self-aware. And here’s the kicker: the people who love you don’t love your penis. They love you. If that’s not enough — maybe the problem isn’t the disease.