His constant putdowns, mocking my successes, arguing, shouting, threatening to leave

Try reading Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. It has been very helpful to me.

I read that one. There's a lot of excellent books out there on narcissism ....." constant putdowns, mocking my successes, arguing, shouting, threatening to leave" ....... this is just a partial list of Narcissists. Another good one which was the first one I read was "Trapped in the Mirror" and also "Why Does He Do That?"
abby