As an only child and unmarried woman who worked from age 18 until my 60’s, making friends was, I confess, not a priority. I had people I thought of as friends wherever I worked but once on to another job those “friendships” faded. The true friends I did have were much older than I was and in my 30’s-40’s passed. Living in a big city I knew my neighbors but they weren’t friends.
I moved to another state when I retired and was determined to make friends and imagined I would use my considerable cooking skills to host parties and have game parties, theater groups, etc.
Regrettably, my new state is one of those “red states” and I have little or nothing in common with my neighbors. I tried joining the local “blue” political club but I’ve never been and still am not a joiner. I tried but as a never married woman, I have nothing in common with a lot of woman and since I still have no interest in a long term romantic relationship, few men.
The two friends I did make at my last job I’ve lost when one came to visit and then asked to borrow a large sum of money (which I refused to do) and the other became rabid over our different political views.
In my independence as a younger woman what I didn’t realize is that when I got older I would have nothing in common with most people who have been or are married and have children and grandchildren who keep them busy.
I’ve developed a medical condition that now prevents me from walking any distance so I’ve hired someone to walk my dog. I see and talk to the dog walker more than anyone else.
Recent a new neighbor told me her elderly mother who lives with her was ill and in the hospital. When her mom came home I sent over home made soup a couple of times and she expressed her gratitude. I thought maybe that would “open a door” but after the thank you no other contact.
I realize how isolated I am and Im not whining, just recounting the situation. I like my company and the company of my dog but I miss having a companion/s to go to a concert or the theater and going out to lunch or dinner.
One of the practical problems is that without relatives or friends I have no one I trust to handle my estate once I die.
I did join a writing class and thought I had made connections with three women. After the class ended one of them invited us to meet once a week but soon told me she didn’t have time for new friends.