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@isadora2021

@help541 I don’t think it’s necessary to examine all aspects of yours and her behaviour. There are times when you know that whatever the history between you and a friend has been and whatever has brought you both to this place (who has done what to whom), you know the friendship is pulling you down. Some friendships lift you up and support you. Some don’t. It’s how they affect your mental and emotional health that determines what you need to do to protect yourself.

Yes it’s a big decision to drop a friend. I did at University (she kept making plans then cancelling on me at the last moment if something better came up). Although it felt right and healthy for me at the time, it was awkward for everyone else around us due to how badly we became estranged. A lot of hurt on both sides.

Looking back I don’t regret drawing boundaries but I do wish I’d done it differently. I blew up any friendship without first down-grading the friendship.

I wonder if you could try first to move her to your outer circle from your inner circle. Just a thought.

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Replies to "@help541 I don’t think it’s necessary to examine all aspects of yours and her behaviour. There..."

Contrary to your previous assertion that examining all aspects of both your and her behavior is unnecessary your subsequent statement below seems to be doing precisely that, which creates a conflict with your initial suggestion.
"There are times when you know that whatever the history between you and a friend has been and whatever has brought you both to this place (who has done what to whom), you know the friendship is pulling you down. "

You make a good point on drawing boundaries. But you cannot do it with bias one sided reflection.

Why is self-reflection important in addressing relationship problems instead of blaming others?

Reflection is a valuable practice that enables individuals to introspectively examine their personal behaviors, communication styles, and emotional responses exhibited towards others. By reflecting on interactions and relationships, one can implement positive changes, fostering healthier and more fulfilling connections. Alternatively, this introspection can facilitate the termination of relationships in a more constructive manner, devoid of unilateral blame.