@joedeb Excuse me for dropping in here. I am the “loved one” with dementia.
I can try and understand her feelings, and your frustration.

As a Christian myself I know God is with both of you every step of the way. When I keep my eyes on Jesus rather than the problem, things become manageable.

Your parish is small, she is well known there, I have to believe they would love to lend her, and yourself a hand up. Perhaps you might give them a chance to love on both of you.