@tryingtimes10
Your post truly resonated with me as well. I have felt all of the same emotions: sadness, anger, grief, and frustration. I feel very alone at times and don't want to burden our children who have such busy jobs and lives.
In the quest to live in the moment I have found a couple of tasks that are helping. I began helping my husband (has mild ALZ diagnosis) with journaling as my therapist suggested. He has found this to be a great help. When he sees a friend or hears some new from a family member, he writes notes including date, day, and topic of conversation. I also have a white-board that I write our daily schedules on and that seems to work for now. I am so much more patient if I do something for myself every day. I walk 3x per week, go to the gym 2x per week, and play MahJongg. I am blessed that he doesn't seem to mind if I am away for a few hours. There are days when I get down when thinking about our lives now, but mostly I am grateful for the friends and family who stay in touch. We all do the best we can...