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Aging Alone—Finding Strength and Connection
Aging Well | Last Active: Apr 18 9:21am | Replies (93)Comment receiving replies
@maggybird
Thank you for the honesty of your post. Please know that your vulnerability is not wasted.
First, your grandson is definitely at that age that he would be pre-occupied with a million things other than appreciating family. I look back now that I’m in my sixties, and realize how that was so very true of me! I care for my 93 year old father in my husband and I’s home and look back wondering if my mom (who was caregiver to her parents in our family home), faced similar challenges to the ones we face. I will never know, as she is now gone and I was just too pre-occupied back then to even notice! But you know, your grandson WILL (and at some level now even does) treasure the time and effort you make with him. You are an inspiration for all of us to keep working at fostering connections and feeding into others!
Second, condolences on your husband’s passing just shy of retirement. My brother (who had just turned sixty) died two weeks ago very unexpectedly—and it is surreal….
I am sad to hear that you spend so much time alone. Is there any way you could get out a bit—to church, a senior center (dad and I just toured one Friday and he is now interested in going—where for years he did not want to), the library, etc? (Preaching to myself now—as I become more and more isolated in being a caregiver.). And, I’ll just throw in, that our Lord loves and appreciates you and is always ready for fellowship time…..this is helping me a great deal right now! You are such a dedicated, loving person—thank you!
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You are very kind. I'm wondering if I wrote that late at night when I couldn't sleep. I recognize it, but it's just a day later, and I'm in a better place. I appreciate your suggestions. I have planned to visit assisted or senior living facilities, but I have a very low house payment and I would like to pass my house along to my son, at least until I am forced to sell it to qualify for medicaid for nursing home if I have to.....I make a few dollars more than the medicaid allowance for Arkansas which is a very low income state. A friend had to move to Denver to qualify for a medicaid senior housing, because the income level is higher. I did get out more before arthritis made walking so painful. I still try to run one errand a day just to leave the house. I went to a senior enrichment class for a few years, too...but it started so early and with sleeping problems and digestive problems, I had to stick around the house early till I'm sure gut issues don't arise. (Sounds like excuses but this is what aging does). Morning church is not possible. I have gone to a Presbyterian Church book study group, but again, the arthritis pain in my hips sitting in a folding chair...even with a cushion became uncomfortable. This sounds so negative....but actually, my grandson called me this morning and asked if I wanted to go out to lunch or brunch. We did. He was so sweet....eating out costs me sometimes more than I need to spend and he doesn't realize that. But it was so worth being with him. So even though I am often as sad as I sounded in what I posted, a good morning like today makes it worthwhile. Because my son is going through his second divorce and is stuck in a house he hasn't been able to sell and isn't suitable for me, I am sticking here until something changes for him. We may have to combine homes (despite the fact I only have a 2 BR) One day at a time...sometime a good day and sometimes not so good. Thank you for your encouragement. Blessings to you for caring for your dad and condolences for the loss of your brother....TOO young. My son is 62, and I do worry about his health. Maggy