Hi, @beatrice20 I know nothing of your family dynamic but I spent many terrible years early in my marriage when my mother couldn’t understand that, once married, my wife now came first in my life. She expected my relationship with her and my dad to not change but it certainly did. Marriage does that. Unfortunately she went to her grave never accepting the importance of my wife’s place in my life.

Life changes and acceptance can be challenging for sure. I wish you all well.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

@beatrice20 She DOES come first.

A mother is not a sexual partner nor the mother of a man’s children. If their marriage is happy you’re no longer his primary confidant nor primary support.

Your relationship is now completely different. He no longer revolves around your sun. He’s got a new sun.

To understand that major change in your son’s life is to start a fresh understanding of the boundaries between you and your son and his wife and your role in their lives.

I don’t mean to be hurtful but helpful.

It should be a time of wonderful freedom for you to pursue your own interests, while being a loving but more distanced presence in their lives.

It will be so helpful to you to focus on living and developing your own life. Supporting others in your position to do the same.

To try and tug at your son is a no win situation. It pushes him further away. He’ll be happy to see you when that stress is gone.

I wish you joy in your new life and your freedom to be the best version of you and not a restricted primary care giver 🙏❤️‍🩹