Dear Bernie 8841,
Your story is similar to my own, but your husband's progression has been much more rapid. My husband was showing symptoms ten years ago. Five years ago he was diagnosed with MCI but was already having trouble remembering his meds or even remembering to drink or eat while I was at work all day. I retired earlier than planned, which was a financial hit, and we moved to another state to lower expenses and be near family.
I sympathize with how you must be missing your home and your friends and your plans for your retirement years. And missing the man you married! I don't think my husband remembers exactly who I am. One day he asked if I would be his husband. I said sure, and called my mom to tell her I had a proposal! Like you, we've been married more than 50 years.
He gets confused, bored, stressed, and agitated. I spend all day every day watching over him because he wanders off or gets into mischief. He doesn't drive, but his main interest continues to be cars and he thinks he needs to find one to buy so he can drive. He thinks the neighbors' cars are all for sale and looks in the windows and tries the doors.
A year ago we moved in with our son's family. My husband doesn't really remember who they are, but thinks they're nice. He gets extremely upset if I'm not with him, so even though there are others in the house, including three teens, I can't leave him with anyone. I'd love to travel to see my mother, who is 96, but my daughter -in-law thinks he'd have a psychotic break. I guess I'll stick it out as long as possible.
It definitely helps to have people with whom I can share and laugh.
I think that if I were living with just my husband and could afford to place him in memory care, at this point I would probably do that. It is just too much to handle.
I wish for you hope and love and peace. You can do only as much as you can. Let go of the rest.