This! I finally stumbled on it quite by accident “…wait as long as possible before telling him about them…”. My husband has always been very detail-oriented. Now that has morphed into obsession, as you mentioned. It is tough. I’ve found waiting till necessary to mention whatever it is does help. I find this site and all of you so very helpful. It is my safe space (though I am seeing a therapist). Therapists may have the education, the expertise and the theories, but you all are living this, along with us!