Thanks. A long time ago I concluded I was unencouragable because I believe I've tried everything "reasonable": multiple psychiatrists, therapists and every medication available, even neurological testing (not imaging) with now new answers and little to no effect. I think my life is relatively simple. Currently not working and not sure I can; employment history is embarrassing. So I isolate a lot. Wife works a lot. Only daughter is in college out of state, independent and emotionally distant from me. My father passed away last Sept (stroke, dementia) we were not very close due to religious differences, and my relationship with my mother is not good, long story of recently revealed family secrets. She's in an assisted living near me, hypochondriac and completely self absorbed in her arthritic pain and bowel issues (which I also have - bowel, no considerable pain yet). She literally drives me mad. I hope the craziness is not genetic as I see myself with some of her crazy tendencies and am fighting like mad to keep myself from becoming like her by distancing myself from her as much as I can but still being a "good son". I'm not. I could go on and on. The only way to remove triggers is isolate and yes, I know that is unhealthy. I feel like I can't feel joy and don't remember what it was like to feel it if I ever even have. I've pretty much resigned to a belief that whatever treatment plan could or would work for me will not be known in my lifetime. If it is all psychiatric (distorted thinking/beliefs) I don't see an end and not sure how much hope I have left, if any.