My experience of drinking, taking drugs, etc is based on my lack of care for myself caused by not thinking and feeling that I can do anything on this planet. I.e. After drinking and taking drugs since I was 15 years old I suddenly felt my inner self screaming at me to “care for me”. I realized that I thought…we’ll everyone drugs and takes drugs so I can to cause it makes me feel better. I had zero self esteem and when I realized this i stopped and took care of myself. My self talked to me and I became and felt stronger in my esteem … more than I ever did.