Hi Sillyblone,
You are doing all the right things for your husband! The research, accompanying him to appointments and being involved. That's wonderful! You have the right attitude also. You want what's best for your husband which isn't always what the doctor recommends. That whole issue about trying to get him a specialist and not being able to and then finding out you could get the same result at the YMCA must have been very frustrating! I'm glad the YMCA worked for your husband! The doctor probably didn't suggest the YMCA because it wouldn't make the medical association any money. Unfortunately medicine has become consumed with making a profit. I saw that with my husband's cancer. When he refused to get anymore Keytruda infusions at $25,000 per infusion because he almost died from them, the cancer doctor became angry! After all, my husband's insurance had just approved 6 more months of Keytruda! Needless to say, we changed cancer doctors.
I hope the new specialist you are going to see works well for your husband. It's so good that you get involved with his care. I'm sure you will see that the new specialist does his best for your husband. I like to think that my involvement with my husband's care was part of the reason he lived 14 years with lung cancer. Prayer also helps. We all need God's help.
I'll say a prayer for the both of you.
PML