How do you really ever fully process a cancer diagnosis?
Today marks the end of the 10th week since I learned that I have cancer. Since then things moved very fast. I had a provider that understood the aggressive nature of my cancer and she managed to refer me to a oncology surgeon within a week and a half and because of someone else's misfortune of contracting covid before surgery I was able to have a total hysterectomy within 2 weeks following my diagnosis. Immediately after surgery my oncologist felt that we had caught this in an early stage and was very optimistic. But a week later the pathology came back stage 3A uterine clear cell carcinoma HER2+. Later that was refined to mixed clear cell serous carcinomas.
None of those words meant anything to me 10 weeks ago. Today they just run through my brain almost every single minute of every single day. I've already started a regiment of chemotherapy and have completed two cycles of six. My doctor tells me I have a great prognosis. He believes that with the chemotherapy, my lifestyle changes and maintenance therapy of herceptin. I have the potential to beat this cancer. However, I have scoured every paper I can find in PubMed and I see very little hope in those papers. I want to live my life believing that I can conquer this diagnosis and live a long life, But I find very little evidence in what I read that that is true or will be true.
10 weeks really isn't a very long time to wrap your head around a life altering diagnosis. How will I ever be able to live my life without constantly thinking about me and my mortality?
I am pulling out all the stops. I'm following everything my oncologist tells me to do. I also follow all the recommendations of my holistic practitioner. I work with the clinical licensed social worker every single week to address my feelings and vulnerability and sadness. I get up every morning and walk my dog 2 miles. I work with my trainer for strength training. I'm doing everything that I have read that has potential to lengthen my life. But I still feel so broken.
This week I meet with a another oncologist for a second opinion on the treatment and follow-up treatments. All I can do is keep searching for hope that I will not die from this particular disease. I know that I cannot see the future but I can't help searching for it. My mind just will not stop looking for ways to survive. One day I think I found the elixir of health and the next day my brain tells me Don't be foolish. You have no control over anything.
I guess I just put this out here hoping I will find somebody who has found the way forward and would share that with me.
I'm really afraid that I'm going to isolate my friends because I can't stop talking about myself. And it's so all over the board. One day I'm hopeful I've got this. Everything's going to be okay and the next day I damned myself.
I know I have the capacity to turn my thinking towards the positive. I just need a little bit of help getting there.
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Gynecologic Cancers Support Group.
@mommacandy @valentinaz @carol1024 You are all so awesome! ❤️😀👏. Thank you for coming out to support @jeanknoll986 and sharing your experiences. I'm elated to know that whether you are currently in treatment @carol1024 or your treatment is hopefully in your "rear view mirror" you all remain hopeful and optimistic. I'm here to say that hearing those first words of "cancer" never completely disappear and neither do the surgeries or treatment regimes we went through disappear from our minds. I tell myself the best choice for me is to live my life every day and fill it with those individuals I love and activities that keep me strong.
😴🎶🏋🐈🦉
Thank you for this. I appreciate the suggestions from someone who has been through something so similar.
I'm only on my 2nd of 6 chemo treatments, coming up April 3rd.
I already love this forum. I'm so grateful to all of you who post here.
I too have a very similar story. My initial diagnosis was Figo Grade 1 Had a total hysterectomy with a pelvic wash and lymph node dissection The pathology report came back and I have cancer on my pelvic wall No lymph node involvement and other signs were good . I start chemotherapy in two or three weeks and have a total of 6 treatments initially every six weeks. I am concerned anxious scared but ready to start the journey Any advice encouragement I can get. Also any information questions etc would all be much appreciated
Grade 1 is the best scenario with such a diagnosis. I wish you strength and peace as you go forward with your treatment. Trust your Healthcare team!
Hi Jean,
Glad you found the group. I was diagnosed with Stage 3 HGSOC in January of 2024. (i am 54 now). Same, thought I was having bloating due to fibroids that were known to me. But, alas, it was not the fibroids. I had 3 rounds chemo, surgery in April, then 3 more rounds of chemo, completed in July. This condition is chronic, something I am learning to live with. I have remained positive, and I am living well with cancer. I have had a reoccurrence already, so I am back on treatment. This one is Elehere, which is a bit easier for me than front line treatment.
In terms of getting ready for chemo, I would also advise the mittens/booties for ice packs for your hands and feet. To help prevent Neuropathy. and, I would say prepare for constipation. Seems to get most of us. I stay hydrated, east lots of fruits and veges, but still rely on Senna as part of my daily routine.
I would say, live your life as best you can. None of us know when its our time.
In terms of other support groups, Mayo has a GYN support group via zoom, you can find the link to register on this page.
I also appreciate the OCRA groups, there is one for newly diagnosed, and it is just another way to connect with other women in similar situation. you can find the link on this website under Support, you will have to register and use zoom. I attend this one weekly, and appreciate the support.
Take good care.
Kristin
https://ocrahope.org/research/
Thank you so much Kristin! All of this helps immensely.
You are an incredibly strong and resilient woman. Thank you for inspiring me!
Hi Carol. Did you experience heart burn and burping after a cycle? Just wondering if there is anything I can take that doesn't interfere with chemo drugs and could help. I'm being careful with what I eat, but last night was horrible. My oncologist isn't available until Monday to call about.