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Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 19 hours ago | Replies (156)Comment receiving replies
I just googled "spouse with cognitive decline" and found this site. I relate to so much I'm reading! My husband has various serious health issues that have been ongoing for approximately 5 years and, after noticing several changes in him, I talked to our doctor. She referred us pronto to a memory care doctor who diagnosed mild cognitive decline. He is normally stubborn and can be difficult, this makes it worse. 🙁 I get so very frustrated with him. At the moment, he is insisting on doing our taxes - which I made clear I don't think it's a good idea and want to get a tax accountant. He won't hear of it - he wants to prove to himself he can still do it. He has been hospitalized twice in the last 6 months so physically he is still not his best - which exacerbates his mental health. I'm tired of the arguments, the nastiness, the wanting his own way (at my expense!). How does one cope with this daily?
Replies to "I just googled "spouse with cognitive decline" and found this site. I relate to so much..."
Hello. Welcome to the group.
I was in the same boat with the taxes and this is how I worked around it. I told my husband that he needed to have the taxes done and filed by a date certain….and if he missed that date, I was going to make an appointment with HR Block. He agreed.
Well, 3 weeks went by and he had made NO efforts to do them. So I told him, we’re getting close to the deadline. I am going to go on-line to make an appointment with HR Block “just in case.”He agreed. HR Block assigned us a Tax Advisor and we were encouraged to start uploading documents in advance of our appointment….but had still not committed to having HR Block prepare them. And then our Tax Advisor said, “I have everything I need. Can I start preparing your returns.” At this point, I did NOT consult my husband and simply said to the Tax Advisor, “Go ahead.” I then waited until my husband was in a good mood and relaxed later in the evening and said “Hey! HR Block said that they have everything that they need from us and can prepare the return and we can just review and sign it at our scheduled appointment. It seems so easy so I just told him to go ahead,” And my husband agreed!
I actually think that my husband knew that he would have trouble preparing our tax returns but was too proud to admit it….and I gave him an easy way to hand off that responsibility to someone else. Just a suggestion to see if it can work for you,
The IRS has on website "Free Fill-able Forms" which has all the forms, and does the arithmetic. Maybe you can check it out before you sign the return. And maybe just compare with last years return to see that it has same forms and numbers are "in the ballpark" Your local library might have trained volunteers who do returns, so you don't have to pay a tax accountant. Wishing you the best.
Today almost everyone uses the standard deduction and it's really easy to manage if you have some online ability. If he cannot complete it, you can. Just read the instructions and follow them. You have to sign anyway.
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@maryb86 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect ! I think that all of the discussions in this support group will be able to answer your questions. If you scroll up to the top, left side, you will see ‘Caregivers Dementia’ in blue words. Tap on it and it will bring you to one of the pages of topics/discussions. This list will go on forever. See what you may like. Click on any and become part of the discussion!