I understand your feelings and encourage you to keep talking. I married my husband when I was 45 ..my first marriage. I had a lot of severe trauma as a teenager and young adult. I lost my only child to forced adoption. I am happy for you that you have kids and grandkids...I'm sure you cherish them. However much you care for each other, that does not take away the pain of the loss of your spouse. I had 26 marvelous years with my husband..every day was like a miracle.
It's been 3 years and I still cry every day. His clothes
and tools and guitar still remain in their place. I can't let them go. You are not alone in your grief. Allow yourself to cry and talk as much as you need to. Only You will know when you are ready to move forward. I sen d you air hugs. If ever I had the opportunity to have coffee with you, I would not walk away from you.

You are 63 and said you won’t date any more. I am 78 and feel the same way. I have two sons but almost never see them. One 43, calls me occasionally driving home from work. The 41 year old I never hear from. Let me tell you, it HURTS! I almost never see my grandkids unless it’s a birthday party. People ask me why I’m still wearing my wedding ring? My reply is that when I married my wife I married for life!

Thank you! One sone if 43 and is a specialist in Dementia:Alzheimer’s patients, and my other sone is z40 and works for a huge company called ADP. They are always busy with their children which is why I don’t see them too often!