Connect
← Return to Aging Alone—Finding Strength and Connection
Discussion
Aging Alone—Finding Strength and Connection
Aging Well | Last Active: Apr 18 9:21am | Replies (93)Comment receiving replies
I am really alone with no support system. I am also quite old = 90. I am fairly healthy and am able to live independently. My husband died 3 years ago. We were married for 59 years and together for 62 years. My life now is bleak and I really have nothing to look forward to. I stay mostly in the house. I only leave when I need to buy groceries or go to the library. I cry a lot. But that is the way it is and quite likely the way it will be until I die.
Replies to "I am really alone with no support system. I am also quite old = 90. I..."
@thisismarilynb I also have a suggestion. The senior center in our town has a cafe 5 days a week for anyone who wants to stop by. Many people come alone but they share a “friendship” table. The laughter is wonderful! I have volunteered at the cafe and with Meals on Wheels which are based out of the same place.
Can you see what your town has?
Hi, Marilynb, and thank you for posting. From your posting (going for groceries and to the library), it would appear that you're at least ambulatory. And that you even posted at all shows that you're thinking, maybe it could be better. One of my life models, Ernestine Shepherd, is 88 or 89, and lost both her husband and her son within the last year or two. She was, of course, devastated by these losses but she finds solace in her faith and in taking care of herself. Did I mention that she's also the world's oldest competitive bodybuilder? You should look her up. And get out and walk! And keep coming back and sharing with us! // Jack
Sorry to hear that you cry. I am also an elder and I think you should not cry. You should find contentment in the fact that you and your late husband had a long, successful partnership. You can try activities like advising other people ( your age eminently qualifies you for this), meditation, light reading and generally keeping yourself contented, happy and healthy. You can also provide whatever help you can to others but make sure that you don't expect gratitude etc., as that has the potential to bring disappointment in some cases. Wish you lots of positive energy.
I understand completely. I am alone and do not seem to make friends though I am not difficult, but too well read for many and not interested in gossip or the usual chatterings. No patience for fools, I suppose, I like sardonic, smart humour and words, walks and brain power. But I also look a bit strange due to surgery years ago that left my face slightly unpleasant and just a bit offbalance. People can't get past an aberration, and either embrace it or repel it.
Connect
Is joining a church an option for you? It is a way to cultivate a community.