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@cp6401

thanks for the reply @texasduchess @secretwhitepop @sears . Sleep helps alot, that which i've been lacking lately, and which i've learned is fundamental when it comes to even "having a chance" at healing and coming off meds you've been on for 20+ years..or.. just cause.. and last night, i got a solid 7-8 hours (gravol assisted), which is the first time in weeks literally. I look forward to more restful sleep tonight. My doctors are aware and all agreed at the taper plan, which was suggested by my trusted "pharmacist, and GP and cpsych. Problem is, while i was "marginally better" on the 37.5. I had most of those symptoms already present just less severe. basically Effexor never worked for me, and the urgency to get off was born from there. I wish i could say i was feeling great, and so that's when i decided it was time to taper. But i wasn't. I never felt good on effexor, except when upping or lowering a dose, i would get one day of euphoric happiness, which soon faded. If my original dose of zoloft from my teens didn't stop working, i wouldn't be fighting this fight.. same with Celexa, which worked for a long time, then, either i had too much pressure in my life, or it just stopped working, then switched to lexapro, no help, then effexor xr. If the meds just kept on working, i would still be on them. That was my main motivation for the taper all together. that and taking holistic care of myself.. watching my diet, meditating, get hormones checked, and supplementing etc.. vitamin, self care...i've think i've already mentioned). this long planned journey since 2017. to do the right things, plan things out. I realize i've perhaps made some bad choices, but i feel like they were supervised choices nonetheless, and i have no choice now but to assume them.. I've been off since Feb 19th'. so 1.5 months. and i'm at that age old choice of "do i go back on or not".. do i soldier on? will things get better? i hate that question. but mostly, i hate that i don't see a light at the end of the tunnel.. i wish i knew someone in my circumstance, who's gotten through it. someone who can say.. yes, with time, things will get better.

thanks for reading

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Replies to "thanks for the reply @texasduchess @secretwhitepop @sears . Sleep helps alot, that which i've been lacking..."

I’m seeing myself in your posts, what you describe is exactly what I experience right now, I just had to reply.
Well, in case you think you are alone in this hell.

I am glad today is a better day and that you were able to get enough quality sleep last night. If we each had a crystal ball, we'd make a LOT of different choices. I agree with @sheffieldsmith that anyone thinking of tapering right now should hold off and if already started, hold where they are; sheltering-in-place and social distancing are stresses enough. If you can, avoid the news and agitating/violent TV, movies, books and music. A regular routine and taking meds/supplements on schedule help maintain an even keel (you mentioned you had forgotten about your thyroid medication). I will be off Effexor two years shortly--it does get better.

I forgot to mention this before, but, have you tried meditation? That helped me tremendously while I was med free. Like I said before, I’m back on zoloft and seroquel and I like the effect better than Effexor. And I always wish I was on nothing. But, well, like they say, it is what it is.

I understand your feelings of despair over whether or not you’ll get better soon and “see the light at the end of the tunnel”. Yes, in all probability, YOU WILL. Please go back and check my posts and those of ace contributors you see recurring on here. We all have given a precise and consistent history of our journeys and present status. It would be a big help for you to see our success stories and present statuses. In my particular case, I became more alive and “with it” within 6 months of my final weaning off Venlafaxine. I currently only get occasional feelings of anxiety, and very little depression now, even with being on the free-falling rollercoaster ride we’ve all found to be our “pervasive new normal”, WHICH IS ONLY TEMPORARY. If you need help navigating this awesome forum to find our history of page posts, please reach out and let one of us know. Just click on our profile name and it will take you there! Your only job is to take care of yourself at this time and I hope you’re following some of the excellent advice posted here! Many have influenced and helped me to be where I thankfully am today. Now, you have some reading to do, friend! Let us know if you have any questions and we’ll pop in to answer! KEEP ON KEEPING ON.....