I got off and said I would never go on it again no matter how bad withdrawal was. That someday withdrawal would be over. After six months if windows and waves I had to begin effexor again. I went on 75 and now to 150. At 75 I was begging for something else to add to take the edge off, because I did not want to increase again (because I want to be off of it someday). I got no relief and started taking half dose of 10 mg ambien at about 4 pm because I was ready to kill myself after a day of withdrawal. I never went over 10 mg of ambien a day but knew I was abusing it, using it as a benzo to treat the withdrawal. I begged so many doctors to give me something to help so I would not be abusing the ambien. I got no relief from buspar or hydroxizine. I finally have a psychiatric NP who gave me seroquel to sleep and is on board with a slow taper from effexor when I get stable. I mentioned my mood swings and that I felt maybe I could be bipolar. She thought not but handed me the questionaire and it turns out to be the case. I began taking vraylor which I'm sure will turn out to have its own set of side effects, but I feel my moods are stable now. Or else I'm just more aware of them. Either way its a win. I'm way more positive and clear headed. I also began taking adderall again ( not prescribed for adhd but for energy, however I see I am ADHD as well). I'm now slowly tapering by dumping some beads from the 150 mg capsules and changing my rx to 4 37.5 mg capsules daily to assist in the bead counting. I actually had no problems the first time I tapered effexor, going from 150 to 75, which I know is not recommended but it was fine for me. When i get my 37.5 capsules I may try a 37.5 decrease. We'll see. Anyway, thats my convoluted story for today and I hope it helps someone on this forum if only to help you realize you are not alone, crazy, or irresponsible in this quest.