Aging Alone—Finding Strength and Connection

Even tho I live in a big city, and it offer many opportunities for getting together In-Person, because, lets face it, if a relationship as a friend is to happen, we need to meet physically.
I've made use of meetup.com which is vast and offers all kinds of possibilities and while I've started even myself to find friends along lines I was interested in ( discussing certain newspaper articles that grapple with larger human issues including how we keep ourselves in optimal health, I was Not able to find anyone who I could call a friend.

The problem, yes it's more like The Problem, is that people (rightly) feel lonely but strangely they also often feel Ashamed of reaching out, as if others can see they are friendless=no one likes them. And yet a friend is one who is equally interested in having you as their friend. It's a Mutual relationship, one cannot be a friend to someone who does not feel SAME level of closeness towards you. So if I want a few genuine connections, I can only connect with others who too have at least Some of the same things I am interested in.

So I've while left two such groups, I've also joined two new ones. As an octogenarian, I do feel it's crucial to have nurturing friends. So I concentrate on What Next, and do not dwell on who disappointed me ... it makes no sense to waste the little time I've left as some pains and body limitations keep reminding me to waste no time.

Libraries, communities centers, even connecting with local social initiatives and even churches activities where you might help out even if you do not believe in that religious community, unless they show aversion toward you.

I've found Zoom meetings which is embraced not only by churches but also many other social and cultural organizations, just like meetup.com on zoom. I use them occasionally when I am looking for Only to discuss what I have pressing interests in, such as climate change, food security, humanism, philosophy, critical thinking, etc.

But my current focus is In-Person and so I am joining one about anxiety. Funny, I had a foggy head a few days ago although I'd gotten up from sleep just a few hours ago. So I googled it and found a reliable sources (Cleveland Clinic, for e.g.) say it can be from Anxiety! Me having to have an anxiety issue second time in Ten Years again at 81? Naturally, I sat with myself, as I'd done the first time, and dug into my Source of anxiety. You know what? Within MINUTES I felt the fog clearing away! I still feel amazed: minds having such direct influence on our bodies?

I am writing this bc I'm going to join an Anxiety Group Meetup to meet in-person! Do Problems create Opportunities? It seems so!
I wish you luck finding your groups!

You get it, validating. Someone suggested I contact ex-book club people to see if anyone would like to continue. Don’t feel that is an option. I believe that friendship wasn’t what I thought it was. I don’t know if you can recreate with aging, or maybe it’s accepting something different. Always a lot to process. Thank you for the wonderful response.

I too am an introvert and often have to stay home since I'm my husband's caregiver. He cannot leave the house often so it also hinders my going out. To make things even tougher, we have recently moved to a new home that is over two hours away from our former residence. Battling with how to meet people has been an issue for both of us. With his handicap and my being autoimmune we stream the Sunday services from a local church. Using a list that was made up of close neighbors I've begun snail mailing them to get to know them a little better. Unfortunately, the only way I get social interactions is to visit friendly businesses to chat with them as I check out in the line and to speak with customers around me in the grocery store. I've reached out to the Senior services in our city to only be told that if I get lonely then they have a cat I can come in and pet. Getting out of the house is a huge undertaking and so I understand in that I'm looking for email ladies to become friends with. I learned quickly don't paste anything like that on Craigslist. So, keep at it in networking online if you are stuck in the house often. I've enjoyed reading everyone's responses to this reply. I'm wondering is there anyone who knows of an email group for seniors just needing interaction? Thanks for asking this . Have a blessed day.

Reply to "happyilyalive"
12 years ago we moved 1000 miles to be close to a daughter. We've never made friends or gotten close to anyone in church. We've tried! I've been so surprised at how difficult it's been. I think by the time people are in their late 60s and 70s they're settled in with family and friends. I so much miss the friendships from home. I for sure keep in contact with old friends but thought I'd have an extension of new ones but it didn't happen. Now at 80 we do what we can do. I don't think we are suppose to share emails on here. Blessings to you.

I am really alone with no support system. I am also quite old = 90. I am fairly healthy and am able to live independently. My husband died 3 years ago. We were married for 59 years and together for 62 years. My life now is bleak and I really have nothing to look forward to. I stay mostly in the house. I only leave when I need to buy groceries or go to the library. I cry a lot. But that is the way it is and quite likely the way it will be until I die.

Is joining a church an option for you? It is a way to cultivate a community.

I am really alone with no support system. I am also quite old = 90. I am fairly healthy and am able to live independently. My husband died 3 years ago. We were married for 59 years and together for 62 years. My life now is bleak and I really have nothing to look forward to. I stay mostly in the house. I only leave when I need to buy groceries or go to the library. I cry a lot. But that is the way it is and quite likely the way it will be until I die.