Thanks for the encouragement. It seems things are getting brighter and lighter. Probably accomplished more in the last week than I have in the last 6 months, and everything isn't out to get me anymore. It feels great to be able to sleep, actually sleep and not be chasing horrible thoughts and dreams. Still powering out both mentally and physically for no reason at the weirdest times but it hasn't been that long without effexor, 3 weeks.
The biggest revelation is understanding how off, how sick, how nasty I was, and the extent of physical effect the withdrawal and crash had on this poor old body. A challenge is explaining to others that we don't control our brains and how they work. We work along with them and are lucky to be able to predict what they might do but when something is wrong, because of a drug or ??, we can only try to keep up and stay safe. I have new respect for the thing inside my skull. It seems to have a life of its own.
The wanting to dissolve off the earth feeling is not there all the time and yet everything that overwhelmed 3 weeks ago still is. It is crazy following your own thoughts and your own brain sometimes...what will it do next??