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@cp6401

Hello, this is my first time posting, in a effort to gain some insight, as i'm suffering. I'm a father of 2 great boys and same common law spouse for 20years. I've been on anti depressant medication since my teens (i'm 42 now)for ocd/anxiety (pure O) first, anafranil,(and some benzo's) then zoloft, then celexa, then cipralex(didn't work), then effexor, which kindof half works.. finally in 2015,I had some elevated stress due to home renovations, and after they were finished i decided to see if i could fly on my own. I got very tired of the up's and downs by switching meds and the depersolization /derealization, which is scary on it's own!... I decided i would do whatever it takes to heal myself and not mask my symptoms anymore with a drug. (yes, that's what they do).. anyways, i got my hormones checked, i was very low in T, so now i do injections which i find is a piece of the puzzle and helps alot with concentration/focus. So for the past year, my focus has been on hormones/overall health, fitness, diet and i want to restart my mindfulness practice. I'm at a point now where i'm on a subclinical dose of effexor XR of 37.5. i did the drop from 75 to 37.5 a few months back(which i now know was too much), and got extremely angry and agitated. but it passed, and all was "ok" for the holidays.. then 2020 Jan 1st rolls around and ouch. i now deal with anxiety from the time i wake up sometimes, till i go to bed. with my ocd themes coming back, not to mention some new ones. i'm shaking all the time, and basically unable to function. it's quite terrifying. the anxiety and ocd is so intense at times, that it i roll up into a little ball and just "suffer".

My question is, i know OCD is it's own beast and i'm aware and doing ERP and therapy i have a psych etc. but..

is it possible to live without effexor or an anti depressant after having been on it for so long? especially when you have OCD?

is my current suffering still due to my taper from 75 to 37.5 2-3 months ago?

My battle here is that much more scary because i don't know if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or if i will need to go back on another antidepressant.. ie: if it's worth it at all (back to my original goal of being able to make it without the AD's) ... also, if i have to go back i'm afraid perhaps the anti depressants will not work anymore because i've been on them for so long and built up a tolerance..

i feel like i'm missing out on my kids (youth) etc.. and other things.. also, the wife has her own issues.. not only in suporting me, but the kids can be very challenging. and dealing with them when you are a ball of anxiety yourself is very challenging. bottom line, it's affecting every aspect of my life and the climate at home has changed because of it..I can't support my spouse when SHE needs it.... very hard when anxiety won't let up at all.. she's' been carrying the family for some time now and it's starting to take it's toll. sorry, that last part is a little rant.

thanks for reading

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Replies to "Hello, this is my first time posting, in a effort to gain some insight, as i'm..."

Get a MM card. Cannabinoids are miraculous healers.

I'm so sorry you and your family are going through all this. And yeah, it is easy to freak out, but take a deep breath and know that it is possible to move forward and rebuild your life. You are still so young. It seems you have been on meds most of your adult life and from everything I've read and experienced - it seems coming off them should be "low and slow." Small titrated amounts over long periods of time. (It took me two years to get off lamotrigine.) It is possible to taper off, but something has to replace the meds. For me it is eating clean (organic and vegan) and walking at least 3 and a half miles a day. Have to tell you - I'm starting to come "alive" again and it is amazing. There is light at the end of the tunnel (and it's not a train.) Hang in there! Prayed for you all.

@cp6401
"Is my current suffering still due to my taper from 75 to 37.5 2–3 months ago?"
It could be. If you are tapering too fast, withdrawal symptoms are the big tip off. If they're intolerable, the recommendation is to go back to the level where you felt good (or where at least your withdrawal symptoms were tolerable), stabilize at that dose for weeks (or even months) before tapering again (but reduce by only 5-10%, or less). Rushing the process may mean you ultimately can't get off Effexor because the withdrawals are too awful.

It sounds as if you are finding the anxiety, OCD and circling/intrusive thoughts very distressing. Are you under a doctor's care? Is your doctor on board with your trying to go AD-free? You could ask your doctor about a "Prozac bridge." Adding fluoxetine (Prozac) "softens the blow" when withdrawing from short half-life drugs (like Effexor). The half-life of Effexor is 5 hours and 99% of it is out of your body in one day; Prozac's is 4–6 days and it takes 25 days for 99% of it to be out of your body. Essentially, the Prozac cushions the effect of no Effexor and lets you "ride out" the withdrawal process. You add 20mg of Prozac to any other antidepressant and then get off the original drug; then, you taper off the Prozac. Re the Prozac, one source said you may need to take a second 20mg dose of Prozac; another said you take 10–20mg Prozac (fluoxetine) for a short period (weeks, a month) until your WD symptoms resolve, then taper off the Prozac over 2–3 weeks.

You mentioned that you've been on ADs of some sort for 25 years, or more. Effexor gets stored in body tissues when you've been on it for a long time--that may lengthen the time you should taper.

Even if you get off ADs, you may need to medicate for your OCD.