I was stomping around the house, shouting, slamming doors, throwing a ball point pen at the wall (see you in hell ballpoint pen). Wow. Then I feel bad, guilty, etc. My doctor will say feel it and own it. I stuff feelings deep. Cats are a pain in the arse. Just saying. I've bent over backwards over the years appeasing and caring for very difficult cats. This one is 25 pounds and has PTSD (I assume). Cheap cat litter. Seriously. I think it makes him sick to his stomach. The poop? I was out of town for a few days and then was gone all day at work. He misses me. Poor baby. My head is spinning.

Anyways, you're right about finding alternative outlets. I was tired, so I turned on a Headspace sleep story, The Laundromat, and got my head in a different place and fell asleep. It's damaging, I think, to get so worked up and angry. Maybe not. Maybe it's feeling so guilty and bad about feeling angry. That's the theory I'm working on...

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