I have recently found a joy in my spiritual growth that I have never felt. I want to experience life as myself with no chemicals to change who I am or who I am becoming. I have a growing personal relationship with Christ and I find that for a long time I have given to much control to mankind and medication to solving my life’s problems. I am a recently retired RN. Most people would be surprised at the number of medical professionals are on antidepressants. It’s so easy to go into a Drs office with problems that are never discovered, but only symptoms which are controlled or covered up with a pill. For the first time in my adult life I am working on myself. This has been very difficult, but I am determined to see it through. Please don’t think that I believe that medication is not a good solution to mental health issues. For me, I just want to find out who I am after all of these years of taking a drug that has a direct effect on my brain chemicals. I hope you can find some inspiration from my story. I understand how you feel when you say your perception is surreal.