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Hi Miriam - At the present time, I am going through a difficult situation. My wife passed away unexpectedly at our home on 2/13/25 and we were married 52 years. I was in shock. I have three adult children who have given me tons of support and friends are reaching out to me. Yet, things feel upside down, very abnormal and time has slowed down. Grief is difficult to deal with and I have reached out to a support group who meet in person for those who lost a spouse. The first meeting is in 10 days and I'm hopeful that meeting with others going through the same as me in losing a spouse will be helpful. My doctor tells me that over time, the pain from all of this will relax but it takes time, and it is not the same for all. I doubt it will ever disappear; I think it will always be there in different ways and in a different level which we then learn to accept.
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I think you are right--the pain will relax but never completely disappear. For me that was ok--part of my remembrance is the grief. I'm so very sorry to hear of this loss--it is devastating. I was in therapy every week, and in a grief group weekly, and my young daughter was in therapy, and at a counselor's suggestion Jewish religious school. So basically I had some place supportive to be almost every day. It really helped. Check back in maybe after you group meets? also got networked to other young widows who took me to lunch and let me sob all over them. People who understand are the best support. Take care of yourself.