I do understand. My wife has MCI, probably transitioning into the early stages of dementia, so the demands on me are nowhere near yours, but I am a retired internist/geriatric physician who made home visits on disabled patients (many with advanced dementia), and I observed all the things you mention. It is a thankless job but no one will ever do it as well as dedicated family member. Yet, there comes a time when it is more than you can provide. I think the best thing you can do after moving to institutional care is to remain a dedicated advocate for dignified care. Patients with advanced dementia who lack an advocate are often the neglected ones. I've yet to see a facility that had adequate staffing.