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Siblings don’t seem to care

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (40)

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@wctdoc1943

That is a very generous attitude. My feeling is that close family members (siblings or adult children) should at the very least be willing to come for a few hours (or a few days) to give the primary caregiver respite or time for errands, shopping or just "me" time. It is important for other family to see first hand what the primary caregiver is living with. A few hours or a couple of days should not overwhelm the family. But bless you for stepping up.

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Replies to "That is a very generous attitude. My feeling is that close family members (siblings or adult..."

This is true. I doubt most people understand the demands of being awakened during the night with various issues, cleaning up toileting accidents multiple times a day and night, endless laundry, shopping, meal rep, clean up, medication management, managing senior meltdowns, resistance to care, money management, house and yard maintenance, repeatedly calling the plumber from disposal washcloths down the toilet, repeated attempts justifying why outside help is needed to the senior is adamant they are ok, making doctor appointments, transporting to all appointments, trash disposal/ recycling, hauling off massive amounts of trash when company doesn’t pickup due to weather……my dad asked me today, as I was trying to shave him, if I had ever worked at a nursing home. Ha! I said yes, I’m working at one now in your house! He laughed. But, it’s true. I am attempting to place both parents right now (looking for a facility with openings) , as their needs are too great for living in their home without full time (3 shifts of people) around the clock care, which I can’t continue to do, plus work my job.

And, though people say, if there is anything they can do….it’s not really what they mean, imo. I hired an agency last week and they called me while I was out due to problem with my dad. Not their fault, but still…..) I’ve reached out to these people who offer to help, including family and with a couple of exceptions, it’s not forthcoming. I can’t say I blame them. I would never recommend that a person take this on. Maybe, for a short time….like recovery from surgery, but longterm, it’s brutal.