My heart goes out to both of you and your husbands. I'm sure your teams have talked to you/your husbands about a food tube. That worked wonders for me. I had minimal mouth sores. Any and all medications get crushed and fed through the tube. The surgery to place the tube was quick and healing was also quick. I know a lot of patients hate the idea of the food tube but I found it to be a great way to get the nutrition I needed to heal from my cancer while not inflaming the very body parts I was trying to heal. Plus you can easily stay well hydrated making radiation and chemo more tolerable.
Good thoughts and prayers to all of you.