I'm not understanding your timeline when you said after the intensified withdrawal you couldn't get through it and would "stop and two days later I was better. You were going back on the effexor then? And then started prozac to bridge, then you were on several other antidepressants since March? Im sorry to be so obtuse in understanding when and what you have been on. Bottom line is, after you stop taking effexor, reinstatement can actually be dangerous, unless it's been within 10 days since the last dose, or six months after. You can google that for references (I'm on my phone and limited in my ability to cut and paste). If you've also been starting and stopping various ADs since March, depending on the half life of each of those, you are most likely going to, or possibly are now, experiencing withdrawal symptoms from some if not all of those. Also, it is very difficult to discern whether you may need experiencing a "relapse" with the original diagnosis (anxiety, depression) OR if you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Doctors are very quick to say that you need medication for any symptom you might have. And of course at this point desperation has set in and you are willing to do anything to make it all stop. Whether or not you need an AD is not a moral dilemma, there is no shame in needing medication, but you need to be at a baseline in order to determine that, and your brain and body are very confused right now due to all of the medication changes. I think taking vistaril helped me through some of the later withdrawal symptoms, it's an antihistamine. Or you could try benadryl and ibuprofen. Personally i would hesitate to go on a benzo such as valium or klonopin to get you through, only because they are extremely difficult to withdrawal from,and the abuse potential would be too high for me myself to risk. We all have such different experiences theres no one solution. In fact through the recovery process the solutions dont always stay constant. I co.pletely understand where you're at. It WILL improve. But you also need to remember waves and windows, which is rarely discussed in this forum and is SO important to understand!! So please research that, it will give you hope.