@lizadiane64,
I am very sorry to hear about your son's death. It must have been terrible for you and his father. But please, do not blame yourselves for what has happened. I do believe that there is a right time for everyone of us to leave back to the universe.
Unfortunately, all of us with epilepsy have a certain risk of getting into a status epilepticus. Before I experienced this myself for the first time last December, status epilepticus was something unimaginable in my situation. My seizures before this status epilepticus were focal seizures and were well-controlled. But all of a sudden, I had two clonic seizures in a week of stress, and one of them led me to this status epilepticus. This condition can pop up at any time, and without much warning. This is why epilepsy is many times called an invisible condition.
When I had my first status epilepticus last December, I could have been just by myself. I can not demand my husband to be with me all the time. I would also not feel well with it, I need my freedom. But for some higher reason my husband was next to me. It was not my time to go back to the universe. And if he hadn't been next to me at this moment, I would never have blamed him!
With love,
Chris (@santosha)