Why aren't doctors helping?

Posted by yhopefullstill @yhopefullstill, 5 days ago

My Mommy was scanned, diagnosed,& Hospice called in all at 3rd scan appt. I'm scared they are letting/ encouraging, she just die!! I was told surgery would kill her! How can it "show up" 3 weeks ago?! large just since last appointment????

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@yhopefullstill

She passed away late Friday night!. It was terrible for her the couple days before! I'm a total mess. I pray I can find some kind of support to go on with this site💔

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I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve read that when you deeply love someone then you grieve deeply. Grief comes in many forms and it changes over time. I hope you can find a counseling group or discussion group that you can share with and they can help you thru this very difficult time. I’ve also experienced the loss of my mom and your hurt and loss is very real. I pray you will find comfort and peace.

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@yhopefullstill

She passed away late Friday night!. It was terrible for her the couple days before! I'm a total mess. I pray I can find some kind of support to go on with this site💔

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@yhopefullstill I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom and best friend.

I totally understand the big black hole you’re feeling inside and the waves of grief and anger. I lost my mom to cancer within a month of her being diagnosed with lung cancer. We thought she had flu. The cancer was everywhere by the time she was diagnosed, and she deteriorated rapidly.

The radiation on her brain tumours at least enabled her to speak, walk and think normally until she passed. She was struggling with all 3 within a few days of diagnosis. Her doctors stopped all treatment and I’m so grateful they did. We pushed her harder than she wanted to but she tried for us. I carry that guilt.

My mom was the most important person in my life and like you we communicated every day. We also spent hours playing scrabble and other board games like uno as well as cards. I haven’t played any since.

Mom had my back within family dynamics. I never realised how much until she was gone.

I still talk to my mom every day but with the time that has passed in a comforting way. I share a laugh with her when I see a Willy Wagtail being a Willy Wagtail. I still miss her dreadfully. When she passed I would have very realistic dreams for years where she was alive again and we continued our great relationship. I had to be careful with my memories - distinguishing between fact and my dreams.

Everyone grieves differently but feel free to grieve your own way and in your own time. Grief is honouring the love you shared.

It did help me to think I was living for both myself and my mom, and that responsibility held me up when I had trouble standing.

I did go back to work immediately because I couldn’t sit with my grief at home. My workmates were tremendous. The grief would suddenly roll in at work in a huge uncontrollable wave, and I would run to the toilets to cry.

I also spent a lot of time with my iPod running in a forest nearby.

I read Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” which was so helpful in focussing my mind on my body in the here and now and not getting lost in mourning the past or fearing the future.

Please do keep in touch with this site. We’re here for you ♥️❤️‍🩹🌺

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@yhopefullstill

Well, she changed this last week into a different person by day.. sometimes seeming by the hour! I found her records from er visits that refer her to her oncologist due to the cancer they saw in Pelvis, renal gland, kidney & abdominal wall 😞 Her belly hurt (she says) of constipation!. After 4 days of giving her magnesium citrate she finally had BM, normal next day. Then nothing again. It was then she took to bed only going to front room once. 3rd day, Morphine increased,& Ativan. Which she didn't want all the time. Woke 4th day afternoon struggling to speak, understand. Rough pain day/night.Day 5 woke with mouth full of yuck, barely can swallow &,hadn't eaten but few bites applesauce after morphine kill the taste! By now I'm giving her drink by straw dipping. Before bed, she's yelling help me constantly, talking to her passed Mom, calling me momma. Up all night with her screaming! By daylight she could not speak! Making moans. By afternoon labored breathing,(O2 levels 34++--). She seems catatonic! She was gone by 8pm that night 😞How can that happen that fast? I'm so angry/sad! My Mommy,My Best friend gone?!!!! Uhhhhggg

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sounds terrible. i am sorry for your loss.

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@kforrest

sounds terrible. i am sorry for your loss.

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drs aren't helping unless it brings in money. even then they wait so long to do anything. my appts are over months away. they think i have uterine cancer. my uterine lining is at 37 mm from having an ultrasound. i can't walk my trash 10 ft for pickup. i use a walker because of severe arthritis of the hip. on top of that i have a lot of guilt for being sick. biopsy is on april 7. drs don't help maybe because they don't know what to do to help.

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