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@sandij

@searchgirl it's not possible to control it. You can, however, set yourself up for success by being prepared for the bad times when they come. I had to make myself a list to remind me of the things to always do to help myself through, because in the moment even the easiest things are hard to remember.( Drink water. Have you eaten? CBD. Did you take your vitamins today? Watch Happy by pharrell on youtube. The witches dance on youtube. Write in journal. Drink more water. Are you tired? Rest. Epsom salts. ) it's like I'm a child who needs led around by the nose!
Many people will say that if you're having these symptoms now, it's best to stabilize at that dosage until the withdrawal symptoms stop, take 3 weeks there before attempting a reduction in dosage. That's most people. Some of us (well, just me that
I know of) went rogue and ripped the bandaid off. I wouldn't want to lead you astray. For my SELF only, I knew I was going to experience protracted withdrawal..waves and windows ..I'm familiar with it, so instead of prolonging my agony I just jumped off.
You're having ups and downs. You're not having downs and downs. Do what you can handle. It's an experiment. You'll make it work for you.

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Thank you. It’s so helpful to know I’m not on my own and help is there. I just journaled my day and realized I really need to practice more of my self soothing and grounding especially when a strong episodes comes on. Was also thinking the Valium thing and I already have cbds. If it wasn’t for my partner today, I might have done my run away stint lol! He wants to come with me to my next counselling session to find out what he can do for me during my wean. He unfortunately becomes my target yet somehow he still loves me when I make it through....bless him.