I understand that. I was worried about being a burden too — I had always seen myself as the one helping other people, not the one being helped. But even when I couldn't get out of the hospital bed, I found that I was still helping people by listening to them, giving advice (when asked), and so on, and I also learned that it was OK to be the one who needs help sometimes.

Realising that people love me just because they love me, and not because of what I can do for them, is one of the biggest gifts that cancer gave me. It's a hard lesson for many men to learn: I hope your husband discovers it as well.