Beaquilter, I have nothing to add to all the excellent suggestions made by the many men on this board; their advice comes from experience, grit, determination and a never say die attitude.
You must NEVER think that treatment for your husband is too late, useless, or for nothing. All of the Stage 4 members who have responded to you were in similar condition when their struggles began, and yet, here they are years later.
As was said, ADT IS A MIRACLE!! If other types of cancer had medications that literally STOPPED them in their tracks, newspapers around the world would publish CURE FOR CANCER FOUND!
So please start there, get the progress arrested and go from there.
And for what it’s worth, there is NO ANSWER to your husband’s situation; it’s going to be a long haul which will require discipline on both your parts but you will get through it.
Someone once told me that the most difficult option was probably the right one; there are no short cuts in this case, it requires the veritable “kitchen sink” triplet therapy and whatever else they can come up with to turn this dire prognosis into a low grade chronic illness.
THAT is what this disease is - a chronic illness like Type 1 diabetes which has no cure but can offer you a long, comfortable life if you treat it appropriately.
I’m not gonna wish you thoughts or prayers - or even “the best”, but I will assure you that this feeling of helplessness and despair will pass and the two of you will do whatever has to be done to beat this.
Phil