Yes, I had met her only once, before Loren and I got married in 2010. She had her 88th birthday several months after we had moved her in with us, I remember making a celebration and her only response being "I don't want to live to be 89". I admit, I was not empathetic, I had turned my life upside down for a stranger whose own family would not take her into their homes. It was a daily struggle to keep her compliant with her medications and diet and demands, and when she made that statement all I could think of was well...why am I bothering to take care of you at the expense of my health and mental well being, my career, my marriage?
I was the only one with her when she died. Nobody in her family asked if her death was peaceful, if she had last words, nothing. I'll never understand that, because I would want to know that information if it was my parent!
The funeral was held in North Carolina where she had a plot in the veterans cemetary, her deceased spouse, Lorens father had been military. Members of the family came from other states and all rented a house together for several days. I knew I could not participate and hold my tongue and my husband went without me. He has said that it was then he knew he could never count on me for anything, that I didnt have his back. He didn't know the horrible things that his mother would say about him and how I told her never to disrespect him in his own home.
Isn't it the strangest thing the way that our memories come upon us seemingly from nowhere? I hadn't remembered any of that for quite some time. Here's hoping that a larger portion of the memories that will crop up during this process will be of pleasant and happy times. I've had many of those in my life and it would be good to keep those front and center.
8 days effexor free today. Hope everyone is doing well. I'm sorry I dont respond to everyone by name, but it's difficult to keep up with on this phone and I stay away from the computer when I'm not working at it.

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