I have a different perspective. My mother cut me out of her life -- completely -- after I got married.
There was trouble brewing from when I first announced my engagement. The first words from my mother's mouth were, "Well, I guess I have no objection."
I didn't know what to say. I was 38 years old! I wasn't asking for her permission.
It was all downhill from there. She was the mouse in the punchbowl at my wedding, snubbing my wife's family. (My mother considered them immigrant peasants.)
My Dad was my Best Man and he tried to keep the peace; he thought I picked a great girl to marry. But he passed away 2 years after I got married, and mom's knife came out. (At Dad's funeral, my mother would not even acknowledge my wife's family's presence, about as low-class an action as I've ever observed. I was appalled.)
My mother visited a couple months later and treated my wife abominably. I wouldn't have it. I won't allow anyone to disrespect my wife -- a wonderful girl -- especially in our own home. We had a monstrous fight.
Long story short: my mother left and never spoke to me again. (She died 15 years later.) Naturally, I was disinherited, too.
But it was her loss. Instead of being happy for us, she forced a confrontation that she was sure to lose.
Episodes 25 and 27 of my YouTube channel are about having a happy marriage. Key point of advice for husbands is to decide whom you're going to keep happy: your wife or your mother, because you can't do both.
If you can't choose your wife, stay single.
https://www.youtube.com/@srlucado/videos
@scottrl Very true. In the days when my sister and I were best friends she phoned me at work to duck out and meet her. She was extremely upset.
When I met her she told me she had decided to call off her engagement as her fiancé’s mum was controlling, didn’t like her and wouldn’t make room in her son’s life for a wife and all that a wife entails.
Her fiancé was trying to placate his mum. Which pleased no one.
I told my sister I thought she should give her fiancé a chance for him to unequivocally choose her over his mother. He did - he made it very clear to his mother that if she made him chose between her and my sister then his mother would lose.
My sister and her husband have been married for over 30 years now. His mother passed a few years ago but she and my sister formed a very strong relationship (it didn’t happen overnight!!!) and his mother retained a caring strong bond with my brother in law. She had 2 people to love and to love her. The 4 grandchildren also loved their grandmother.
My brother in law drew strong boundaries, and everyone worked with them.
Win win.