@sadiesmom,
I hear you loud and clear. Very recently I withdrew from Effexor. I tapered very slowly, like, over 2.5 months. Initially, there were the brain 'zaps', these were relatively bearable. Otherwise I felt okay. My mood was relatively balanced. I didn't cross taper with any other antidepressants. I was happy that I seemed to be doing ok.
Then, a delayed withdrawal hit me about two months after the final beads. I went through the daily hell you talk of. The same symptoms. The psychiatrist I was referred to was pretty much useless. Initially, I was put back on Effexor but it took at least 2 months before it started working again. At that point the psychiatrist decided to instruct my doctor to prescribe mirtazapine to help me sleep and deal with my other symtoms which he thought were 'situational' in terms of cause.
I hear so much from psychiatrists and Dr's about how they 'like', or prefer certain drugs without actually knowing what it is to take them or come off them. They speak of cross tapering, that getting off Effexor in 10 days (!!!!!!) While cross tapering. Sure. As if it was that simple.
Now. 15mg of Mirtazapine seems to be keeping the worst of the withdrawal symptoms at bay. But I am still about 50% of the severe level of withdrawal symptoms of Effexor. I am on one single Effexor bead a day at the moment. I ignored the ten day taper and have come down from 150 mg Effexor to this single bead.
I also wondered if I was going to survive the withdrawal. I wanted to be out of this world too. Nothing, absolutely nothing has been as hellish as the withdrawal from Effexor. I am afraid that once these final few beads are gone I may return to that hell I was in before.

I have done as much research as I can in terms of coping with the prolonged withdrawal.
Practicing mindfulness, yoga, running, giving up caffeine, drinking camomile tea, plenty of water, taking magnesium, vit B complex, Vit D, omega 3 oils, regular therapy. Keeping a gratitude journal. Keeping in touch with supportive friends.
I so hope that you have got through this time and have found peace and a sense of wholeness. Keep the faith.