@urbanjane thank you for asking questions. I’m 40 and was diagnosed with bipolar I in my early 30s. My advice is this. Love her for who she is, not who she thought she was or you thought she was going to be. Don’t lower your expectations for her but change them to help her cope with her condition. Recognize her as a person first, not just someone with a mental disorder. Let her know she can come to you without being judged or put down for things she does or may do. Getting stable on meds is the first battle to overcome. I went through it myself. It takes time and dedication. And even when you find meds that work for you, meds don’t eliminate the symptoms, they reduce them. What’s normal for her will probably look a little different than it does for the majority but there’s nothing wrong with that.